gifts and presents are on me.

the following was written by a man with a developmental disability who emptied the garbage cans and vacuumed the carpets when my mother worked for the association for retarded citizens four years ago. every time he came to the office he brought invitations for future events in his life.

i hope you come to my 50th, fond farewell, and to my 100th birthday party celebration on february 14, 2016, june 27, 2025, and february 14, 2066, at 6:00 pm at the koury convention center. you’ll meet all of the other fine celebrities from new york and from hollywood. we’re gonna have fried chicken dinner with cole slaw and creamed potatoes and biscuits. drinks and desserts. gifts and presents are on me. hope you’ll feel better. get well soon and god bless you. thank you.

i’ve always wanted to say, regrettably, on the night of your one hundredth birthday party, i will be with my valentine.


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