notes on a ledger.

cynicism dictates that when heath ledger died the probable, that is, winning an oscar for best supporting actor, became a lock. for a long time i held that it was only due to his death that he would be given the award, but after contemplating further i decided that it was fruitless to worry about the reasoning behind a meaningless award. this is not to say, however, that his performance in the dark knight wasn’t deserving of a prize, especially in comparison to the other nominees who were adequate but not instantly memorable. while jack nicholson’s portrayal of the joker bordered on cartoonish, ledger’s was invested in the darker elements of the character, the maniacal tempered with sensitivity, the brutality and cunning counterbalanced by comedy and wittiness.

his victory was due as much to this role as it was a recognition of his previous. it goes without saying that he was great in brokeback mountain, but his performances were also noteworthy in the patriot, monster’s ball, ned kelly, and even, somehow, in ten things i hate about you. also he played the grimm, jacob, who shares a birthday with me, january four, instantly making him the cooler of the brothers.

i’d really like to find more similarities between heath ledger and myself, but i’m left with the tangential. sure, my family came close to moving to austrailia before we decided on north carolina. we were both born in the same year, on the fourth day of a month. we each have reported difficulty sleeping. members of the paparrazi also once squirted me with water pistols while i was on the red carpet.

there’s a detail that keeps coming back to me — something that fortunately we do not have in common — his access to health insurance. i will never accidentally overdose on prescription medications because i cannot afford to go to a doctor. i remain intentionally oblivious to my health, relying on my immune system to defeat all illnesses. it’s not completely alone in the struggle — i eat nutritiously on most occasions, i come very close to exercising at times, but for the most part i count on merely wishing my body could quit the pathogens that invade it.

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One Response to “notes on a ledger.”

  1. fall from grace. « the vignettist Says:

    […] written before about my lack of healthcare, in a tongue-in-cheek manner, but, the truth is, it’s pretty inexcusable for someone of my […]

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