the most beautiful green we’ve ever seen.

while conducting research for a movie based on the mcdonaldland characters (you know, johnny depp as ronald, dwayne johnson as mayor mccheese, danny devito as the hamburglar, and tilda swinton as birdie the early bird), i came across a piece of fast food ephemera, uncle o’grimacey.

o’grimacey is grimace’s irish uncle. he is green, wears a frock coat adorned with four-leaf clovers and a leprechaun’s hat, and carries a shillelagh like everyone from ireland. i mean, why not include a storyline where he gets really drunk and beats up one of the fry guys (in the film version, played by a pom-pom with legs — or conan o’brien if he’s available). he visits his nephew every march, bringing along the shamrock shake. apparently he packed enough that every mcdonald’s restaurant in the united states and canada offered them to their customers. maybe that explains the limited quantity of the drink in recent years; remember airlines didn’t charge such exorbitant fees for baggage back then.

with that introduction out of the way, i bring you a commercial from the late 1970s or early 1980s, a time period when sound quality wasn’t a priority like it is in these crazy high-definition days.

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